In other news, I’m sure that we all know by now that Alexis Costello has gotten knocked up by her boyfriend Ken.

Can anyone say why the fuck did this happen?

Alexis being pregnant just seems like a really off-the-wall event to occur. She’s definitely not even fit to be a mother and I’m going to feel real sorry for this kid when it’s born, because Alexis is one whacked out bitch. My guess is that she is either going to give birth to this runt and eat it for breakfast, or she’s going to teach it the ways of the psychos. Which is the last thing that this town needs since we’ve already got a handful of psychotics running around: Mart/Tanya, Nathan/Geoff, James, and the Doll Collector, just to name a few. But I’m not going to complain all that much, because the lunatics do tend to bring in some of the best news. I’m ready to see if Alexis’ spawn of Satan will turn out to be a cannibal or a serial killer when it grows up. And I’m also interested to hear what name she’s thinking about picking out for him or her.

Here’s a couple of suggestions if she’s feeling a little stuck. If it’s a boy, name him Jeffrey Dahmer. And if it’s a girl, name her Aileen Wuornos.